...In the dream, there was an icy blue expanse. In the expanse was a feathery flowing trellis. Attached to that trellis was a weightless gown. In that gown was a serene girl. And that serene girl had magic powers. These powers were patience, insight, compassion, creativity, an ability to stop time...an ability to be a dozen of her at once so she could actually be all of those things....
Okay. So I didn't really have that fantastical a dream. But I might as well have.
My vision of a cleanse came as a package. After a summer of good hard physical work and a lot of outwardly-extended mobility, I had spent the last fall months concocting a vision of a winter wonderland dreamboat (on this icy blue expanse, of course.) Moving back to Ann Arbor with little else on my plate but to have a job, I imagined this winter to be one like no other. Adjectives that fit my design would be: Introspective, quiet, pure, clean, reflective, renew, community! In other words, I mistook myself to be that inhuman super-woman in that dream.
Part of this vision was a cleanse. The cleanse was to be the soil from which I grew these qualities. It was to get me back in tune with my body and therefor more apt and willing to embody everything else more fully.
Well, I forgot to factor in a couple of things. First:
-Having a job actually means having a job. Apparently the way it works is that once you land one, its no longer this conceptual symbol of financial stability. You actually have to show up in a physical, mobile mass and carry out tasks to get money.
-The HOLIDAYS. Someone should make this into a cult horror film with an anti-capitalist political bent to boot. Seriously. I'm not even religious and here I was making three-page long lists of friends that needed gifts. And then the parties: Hanukkah party, last night of Hanukkah party, Christmas eve dinner, Christmas brunch/lunch/dinner/whatever you do, my birthday, some earth day, end of the world, not-end of the world, parties just cause "hey - its a world!" By the end of December, I bet Americans could make a thousand new Americans just by the extra body mass they've managed to collect.
So I got sideswiped by the holidays and this job thing. After that month of thanking God for being all God-like, I just want to thank God for January and February: the months that don't give a flippin' woot about praising and probably accomplish more in terms of the well being of humanity as individuals and community.
Now, most people it turns out have some sort of external guide or support system for these sorts of endeavors. I did some research and compiled a semi-concrete plan - there are some really weird things out there...like one where you just eat apples all the time...and drink Epsom salt - but I have no compass but thine. The plan I ended up choosing to follow most closely is the Candida diet. Candida is a type of fungus that feeds of sugars and yeast build up in the body. There are a couple of ways to test for it but I knew I didn't even need to bother. Despite all of the roughage and health-nutty food I eat, I have a major sweet tooth. And it had definitely gone over board with the holidays. Now, the Candida diet starts off with a cleanse of 7-14 days but I had been reading more and more about the benefits of fasting as a great way to flush out the body. It felt like a good reset button to me and so I added that to the bill.
I'd plotted the days - I'd start Saturday evening and end Tuesday morning - and had it all sorted out but wasn't really sure how one was supposed to prepare for such a transition. I talked to one of my managers at work who is sort of a fanatic about these things and he recommended I start mostly eating raw foods a few days before....and then I got sick! That Thursday, after two hours of working with a splitting headache. Nausea set in. I reluctantly gave in my hours (and just in time for Nausea to set...out) and then proceeded to spend the evening and entire next day in and out of bed. This easily solved the problem of how to transition because already I'd had to become a food ascetic. By saturday evening, I was determined and primed and simply just stopped.
My last food was an apple.
And trust me, it will be my first treat at the end of this month.
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